Mystery in missions...

I hadn't decided how I would post this, but I think I will here since I am posting things that are one my mind - and this is a big one.

We (my mom and I) went to Passion City Church tonight in Atlanta. Now, I consider myself a member of Four Points Church in Acworth, but we went tonight because:

1) I loved on the babies at church today since it was my rotation in children's ministry
2) I didn't get to hear the Word preached by Brent (which, I will download the podcast)
3) It's fun to go down to a big church sometimes and just worship and hear the word preached AGAIN where there are simply lots of people
4) Can you pass up Louie Giglio, Chris Tomlin, Shane and Shane for church on Valtentines? NO.

As we were worshipping, I really felt that thing that I feel when it's about to be a big thing that I pray and ask God for/about. Like, "Now is the time to ask" or "Yep, this is me really asking." And I know that I pray things often that are important, but I can tell the difference when there is a time of, what I can only articulate as, "transition," where God will begin the major work of preparing me for the next place he wants me. And I felt like, tonight was yet another night where I felt like the God and the Holy Spirit in me would colabor and begin the process of preparing me for the "next phase."

Now, I have been praying about this since about high school, but it wasn't until about December of last year/January of this year where I really have felt the push to start praying and seeking in this direction. And there is a sense of urgency, because I feel like I am not in a "permanent place." So enough with the vagueries.

I've felt since the beginning/middle of college that I am not called to live in the U.S. In fact, something that I dread is waking up in my mid-30s, husband, children, and house living in Suburbia, USA feeling like I didn't do what I was called to do. I could wake up in another country, do the same thing, and feel like I was exactly where I needed to be. Mainly, I feel called to live out of my comfort zone.

My comfort zone really isn't far away from me. I could go into a bar, and bam, there it is. I don't like bars, smoke, and creepy, barscene people. But really, I feel called to live in sacrifice. I feel called to give up comfort. I feel called to give up ease. I feel called to suffer in many ways. And I'm a complainer, so it's gonna be an eye-opener for me. But, I FEEL CALLED.

So tonight, I asked the Lord to send for me. I say it this way, because, when I was asking the Lord about marriage, future, the whole bit, a little over a year ago, I accidentally read the wrong passage in Genesis (I have a Bible reading schedule - don't get excited, I'm inconsistent, remember). I read Genesis 24 - about how Isaac sent his servant to the land of Canaan to get him a wife from his father's clan. About how the servant prayed that he would know, how he would know her by her service to him. About how he would take her back to a different land after making arrangements with her father. About how she was just living her life as she ought - she wasn't doing anything particularly special, just serving another person who needed some rest - she was already in the place where she would need to be for what would be next. After reading this, it stuck with me as God gently telling me He would send for me when He was ready (and when I was too). So, I thought on that again, tonight, wondering where the pivot from life here in the U.S. to life abroad would be, and I simply asked, "Please send for me."

I said it fully knowing it could be 3+ years before I am in a position to relocate, and I have peace about that. But at the same time I was asking, I already knew that the Lord would be engaging with the Holy Spirit to really shift my focus in that profound quiet. That this was the question, and I was committed to it.

This is the direction in which I am heading, and I would appreciate and covet any prayers, small, big, regular, or just once (or irregular regularity, like I pray for others myself), in this time of GREAT teaching and developing. I have a lot of maturity and discipline to be sewn in, so the work is always easier when there are many to help. And, I'll write if I find out anything more.